Well, more of a history really.
Once upon a time, when my father, Papa Cravens, was 8, he was determined to build the perfect burger. He spent a meal painstakingly stacking and layering and engineering each layer to ensure maximum taste and structural integrity. Without fail, each time the burger was built to specifications, he would pick up the beast and take a bite, only to be greeted with defeat. By defeat I mean all of the luscious ingredients squirted lamely out the back of the burger. This pattern continued for the bulk of the meal.
Finally, in the Papa Cravi's rarely seen but oft dreaded rage, he took the burger in his hand and crushed it as Zeus crushed the Titans.
This story has become legend in our family, known universally as The Hamburger Story.
Since The Hamburger Story, Papa Cravens has mastered the art of the burger. I, quite frankly, fancy myself his grasshopper.
I swore revenge* on all burgers after hearing the legend.
And I have vanquished every burger in my path. Usually with relish (pun).
*By revenge I mean I eat burgers like it's my job.
Then I met the Umami Truffle Burger.
This is the Siren of burgers. It needs no pickle, no ketchup, no onions, no garnish or embellishment of any kind beyond it's truffle cheese promised in the description.
It seems meek and simple at first glance. Easy to overtake. Then you pick it up and see how... juicy it is. Your pace quickens. You hold the burger lightly, careful to keep the contents in the bun. The aroma is intoxicating.
Then you take the first bite.
And your mind goes blank.
But seriously, this burger is the very definition of Redoncuous.
Oh, and there are also truffle cheese fries.
I'm just sayin.