As you might have heard, I'm moving. As you also might have heard, I was supposed to fly into Wisconsin Tuesday. But things don't always go as they're supposed to, do they?
On Tuesday, the United Airline network crashed nationwide. All this really did was delay a specific window of flights, including my first flight to Denver. I ended up missing the second leg of my journey.
Now, I respond poorly when travel plans go awry. By 'poorly' I mean that I follow standard Cravi procedures:
1. Panic internally
2. Decide it will be fine
3. Call parental person
4. Speak in an urgent and exasperated voice for a solid minute to three minutes then insist I'm just tired.
5. Calm down and decide to be a grown up about it.
6. Put some food in me to subdue the Hanger beast
7. Make sure I'm as nice and understanding and sweet to the poor airline people as possible
Boom- Problem solved.
This is my usual course of action.
This time, the solution to my no-airplane problem was to be put up in a hotel overnight and jump on a plant the next day. At first, I was cranky. Then the clouds parted and I realized: Hotel= jammies. Hotel = room service.
HOTEL= JAMMIES + ROOM SERVICE.
Finally, the transitive property is working for me.
See kids? We really do use math after the SATs.
So what started out as a stressful, cranky, sweaty day turned into reveling in two food vouchers worth of cheesecake, wine, and french onion soup while watching Chopped and Dance Moms.
Basically, I lived the dream.